I bet no one’s ever laid it out so plain for you before, huh?!
While the truth may sting, it’s still the truth! But I promise it comes from a place of love!
I had to face the music myself not that long ago.
I was so deeply invested in my body and how much weight I wanted to lose and what clothes I wanted to fit into that no one could have told me that I was the one standing in my own way!
I mean, are you kidding?! All I ever thought about was my body “project”: what and how much I ate; how much I exercised; what exercise I did; whether it was enough; whether or not I was eating enough of the good things and too much of the bad things…
I was the dictionary definition of obsessed!
And if that was the case, how could I POSSIBLY be responsible for my lack results?
No, no, no: clearly someone–or something–else was to blame!
When things aren’t going our way, it’s easy to find a scapegoat to pin it on.
Blaming the saboteurs around us is the quickest, easiest way to avoid taking a good, hard look at ourselves.
Don’t get me wrong, though: one of the biggest obstacles many of us face when it comes to creating a healthy lifestyle is the people around us.
When the people we love and/or spend the time with most aren’t on the same page, managing to keep our heads above water–let alone stay on track!– can feel damn near impossible.
But ultimately, we’re in charge our success. No one else is going to make sure we eat the food we know we should be eating, or exercising because we know it makes us feel great.
It’s no one else’s responsibility to make it easier for us. Even though we’d love for everyone to be on our side, it’s just not reality.
And results are not achieved by denying reality. They’re achieved by facing it head on, despite the inconvenience.
So if there are circumstances in your life that you often find yourself blaming for your lack of progress; if you find yourself labeling others as the saboteurs in your life; or you feel like you were just dealt a shitty hand, here are my top tips to quit blaming so you can feel empowered once again!:
1. Ask yourself this critical question: Are you in–or not?
This may sound both harsh and obvious, but it must be said because if consider my own track record, every time I failed to either 1) ask myself this question; or 2) ask myself and not answer HONESTLY, I failed. Every.single.time.
If your answer is not an emphatic “HELL YES I WANT THIS AND I AM GOING TO HAVE IT”!!! then frankly, you’re setting yourself up to fail.
You’re setting yourself a trap so that each time you don’t feel like doing something, you’ll have an excuse at the ready.
But, the moment you decide that:
this is it;
you’re all in; and
you’re making yourself a priority despite it all,
You send a message to your higher self that you are ready to level the F up and nothing’s going to stop you!
2. Stop to consider why the people in your life might be supporting you the way you’d like them (you may be surprised by what you realize):
In my experience, you have to realize that their inability to show support could be coming from a place of love.
For example, they may not yet trust that this is it, that you’re actually all in. They may have seen this all before (with all the other diets, LOL), and they may be holding back their support because they don’t want to see you disappointed.
Or they may feel confused about where all this positive change will leave them. Are you going to up and leave? Are you going to be a different person? How will this affect your relationship?
Sometimes, when we begin to focus on our needs and our health, it reminds others about how they’ve neglected theirs. And if they’re not at the “HELL YES”! stage, then they may harbor some resentment.
But here’s the thing: no matter how the people around you react to your choice to elevate yourself and your health, it’s never about you.
When I realized this, I automatically became less resentful and more compassionate. I did more to acknowledge my loved ones’ concerns and fears, but reiterated that I was doing this for me because I refused to neglect myself any longer.
When our loved ones realize where our true intentions lie, they are more likely to get on board.
3. As a person who desires change deeply, you have to surround yourself with people who are working toward self-improvement, too:
We have to build what I call a Dream Team for Success.
For me, this meant finding a supportive tribe of like-minded women in the online space who:
Help me squash my inner critic so I can overcome the naysayers…
Hold me accountable to my goals…
Keep me focused when distractions creep in…
Support me in my desire to live a healthier, more fulfilled and amazing life!!!
Just because the people closest to you may not be on board (and may never get there) with your goals, doesn’t mean you have no shot at achieving your goals!!!
It’s quite the opposite, in fact!
You just have to be willing to seek it out in unconventional places–like my online group coaching club, the Bonafide Fit Babes!!!
The Bonafide Fit Babes is a members-only coaching club for women who want to elevate their fitness, nutrition and life, and they won’t settle for ANYTHING less!
They truly value their health and care enough about themselves to make it their #1 priority…so only one question remains:
You’re the one standing in the way of your success