Kim Kardashian is a beautiful woman.
She’s curvy, wears the hell out of her clothes, has great skin, and obviously eats healthy and works out regularly.
But whenever I look at her, I can’t help but feel a little sorry for her, and it’s not only because she usually looks hungry 😬
She strikes me as someone who spends so much time curating her outward appearance that she’s lost touch with who she is as a human being, a creative, and most importantly, a woman.
It’s a sad state of affairs when all the money in the world can’t buy peace and acceptance of one’s own body.
And sure, I could be totally off base with my interpretation of Kim’s inner monologue, but that’s not the point: the point is that there are far too many women out there in the world thinking incessantly about their bodies; how to shrink and conform them to some unrealistic ideal; and believe that doing so is the only worthwhile use of their time.
I call bullshit on this. #sorrynotsorry.
Not only is it not realistic to spend so much time thinking our bodies, it’s counterproductive.
Obsessing about everything you put in your mouth; exercising excessively; and constantly critiquing your body compared to the images you see is not, and I repeat NOT, going to motivate you to achieve your physique goals!
I speak from experience when I say that it didn’t help me one iota to create vision boards of the “perfect” body I hoped to achieve, along with images of all the things that I truly believed would happen to me if I could *only* get down to a size 4.
- I would be richer.
- I would have a fulfilling and lucrative career.
- I would have the most perfect boyfriend/husband.
- I would be blissfully happy all the time.
- I wouldn’t have any problems.
I’m shaking my head as I write this because it’s so far from reality that it is actually laughable—now.
I was living in a fantasy world, much like the world Kim K must inhabit, lololol.
But that’s BS. We all live in the same world, and we all experience different levels of the same problems, heartaches, setbacks, tragedies, and consequences.
We also all have the same capacity to find solutions to those problems, and experience joys, make progress, and achieve serenity in a world that’s anything but.
The key is to remember that it doesn’t start with changing our bodies: it starts with changing our minds.
It certainly doesn’t end there, and I believe that periodically focusing intensely on our health and physique goals does helps us achieve the rest by: building confidence; reinforcing our own power; and enhancing our self belie, not to mention our overall well-being!
But these changes can’t be an end in and of themselves.
This is why it’s so critical to never lose sight of what we love and what lights us up from the inside-out…
You know, the stuff that has nothing to do with our bodies?? Or have you forgotten what those things are?!
If you have, there is no shame in it. If someone had asked me five years what my interests are, I would have said “Working out”, and struggled to come up with anything else.
These days, I’ve rediscovered that I’m actually interested in a lot more things than I thought, and I can enjoy things just for the sake of the pleasure they provide—as opposed to how they could help me “improve” my body:
- I love my business and I love coaching women
- I love doing personal development work
- I love good coffee
- I love to eat #fitfoodie
- I love to read
- I love learning about Tudor England
- I love England, period
- I love experimenting with fashion and makeup
- I love theater and live comedy
- I love reality tv #notaguiltypleasure
It took a long time to open up about my true desires because it felt so self-indulgent and…pointless. I also literally had no space to enjoy life because I was so preoccupied with my “body project”.
Thankfully, my body is no longer my singular focus. Ironically, the less time I spent thinking about my body and trying to make it look like some celebrity’s, the more focused my efforts became and the most results I achieved!
It may sound impossible, but it actually makes sense from a metabolic standpoint, so hear me out!
The more obsessed I was with my body, dieting, and exercise, the more stressed out I was. I was a walking ball of stress, which meant elevated cortisol levels; increased appetite; difficulty sleeping…the list goes on!
Alternatively, the less I worry about my body and the more I embrace fun, passion, zest for life, and my true desires, the less stress I feel; the more effortlessly I manage my hunger, energy, and cravings; and the better sleep I get!